


Pausing the Game

by Slenderbrine



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bathroom Breaks, Gen, Humor, Robot Confusion, Sheer stupidity, Stupid!Crazy!Mike, Supernatural Elements, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:49:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slenderbrine/pseuds/Slenderbrine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a stupid idea. A dangerous one. But Mike didn't care. He had one thing on his mind, his end goal: he had to use the restroom. (One!Shot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pausing the Game

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an idea I had.
> 
> I don't own FNAF. If I did, there would be a certain pizzeria showing up on the map.

**Title : Pausing the Game **

**Rating : General Audiences **

**Genre : Supernatural/Humor **

**Summary : It was a stupid idea. A dangerous one. But Mike didn't care. He had one thing on his mind, his end goal: he had to use the restroom. (One!Shot) **

**Characters : Mike S., Freddy F., Golden Freddy **

**A/N : Just an idea I had. **

**Disclaimer : I don't own Five Nights at Freddy's. That is owned by Scott Cawthorn. If I did, a Fazbear Pizzeria would already be open. **

** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  **

Mike Schmidt knew there were killer robots. He knew it was a horrible - no, stupidly dangerous idea. But he didn't care. He would do whatever it took.

He had to use the bathroom.

He checked his watch. _2:50_. Hopefully they wouldn't be too active.

Head void of all fear and intelligence, he got up, gathered his wits, and stepped out side. He hadn't even walked halfway down the hall when Bonnie stepped out of the closet. It turned its head to stare at Mike, its eyes trying to pry open his soul. But he didn't care.

He continued walking, past the giant killer bunny as its eyes followed him. He gave it a glance before saying, "I have to go to the bathroom. You can continue trying to kill me later." Mike kept his eyes straight and walked with purpose, a man on a mission. The animatronic rabbit stared at him with confusion, Mike oblivious, and looked around, confused on what to do.

Foxy peeked his head out just as Mike stepped into the party room. Mike stared at the fox as the fox stared at him. Mike nodded at the fox before turning towards the bathroom. "Kill me, later," the security guard called out to the defective machine, "I need to go." Like Bonnie, Foxy stood there, confused. Instead of stepping out of Pirate Cove, it chose to retreat back, until the endo stopped malfunctioning. It was like waking a sleepwalker: you don't just stop a malfunctioning endoskeleton.

Mike walked into the little boy's room and stood in front of a urinal. He unzipped his fly and let out his stress. He glanced at his watch. The numbers _2:55_ stared up at him, the glow of the digital watch seeming brighter than it was in the dimly lit restaurant. Once he finished, he zipped his fly and washed his hands. Mike stepped out of the bathroom and ran right into Chica.

"Oh! Sorry," Mike apologized. He wiped himself off and wiped off the chicken animatronic. She tried to kill him, but he was still responsible for keeping her intact. Said guard-killer reached out to grab Mike, but he swatted the arm away. Surprised, Chica lowered her arm. Mike sighed. "I know you all want to kill me, or whatever, but seriously, wait until I get back to my office," Mike explained to the yellow robot. "Just wait a little bit. Then come kill me."

Mike skirted around the big chicken, walking back to his office, oblivious of making yet another robot confused. Mike entered the party room, content to see Bonnie onstage, but Freddy was still nowhere to be seen. Shrugging it off, the man walked back to his office, indifferent about his surroundings until...

"Um..." Mike started, "excuse me?" Freddy turned around, seemingly surprised to see Mike. The golden bear, affectionately nicknamed a Golden Freddy by the staff, turned its head from the bigger bear to the man, without an endoskeleton to help him. However, Mike wasn't worried about that right now. "Can you please get out?" Mike said, a bit impatiently.

The two bears stared at him, mouths open, but no screeching coming out. Just shock.

"Yes, yes," Mike said hurriedly, "you have to kill me or shove me into a suit or whatever, I don't care. What I do care is that you do it right. You break into my office, not wait for me to come back. If you could please act like adults, please get out and kill me the right way." Mike finished his rant and gestured to the door.

The bears still did not move.

Mike sighed, taking matters into his own hands. He picked up the golden costume, its black, soulless eyes staring at him. He dumped the fifty pounds of plastic onto Freddy Fazbear, causing the brown bear to extend his arms in order to catch his golden counterpart. Then, Mike shoved his dangerous charge out the right exit and closed both doors. He waited until he heard slow, but steady footsteps walking away.

Mike checked his watch. _3:00_ , it said. He grinned and opened the doors. Let the game begin.


End file.
